Embracing Impermanence in Emotions

In the realm of academic advising, we often find ourselves navigating not just the academic paths of our students, but also the complex emotional landscapes that come with higher education. This aspect of our work was brought into sharp focus for me recently, thanks to a profound insight from Ediyasmr, a YouTube content creator I admire. In one of her older videos, she said,

"Emotions are supposed to be impermanent. They're supposed to come and go. Now that they've come you can let them go.”

This simple yet profound insight has echoed in my mind, particularly in my role as an advising administrator. On my campus, the role of an academic advisor is pivotal and comes with its own set of challenges. There are more than 70 full-time primary role advisors in my department, each responsible for approximately 300 students. The past semester has been particularly challenging. The expectations placed on academic advisors seem to be ever-increasing, while the resources and support for the individuals in these vital roles are on the decline. It's a situation that can lead to significant stress and emotional turmoil.

One of the toughest aspects of our profession is grappling with the limited scope of what we can control. Often, our circle of control is much smaller than we'd like, dwarfed by our circles of influence and concern, brimming with factors that deeply affect the academic, emotional, and personal well-being of both students and advisors. This can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of helplessness and frustration among the advising staff.

In response to these challenges, I've found a sense of balance by focusing on my locus of control, drawing inspiration from Ediyasmr’s concept of letting emotions flow through me. This mantra has been a guiding light, helping me to manage my reactions and emotions in the face of adversity. It has taught me to embrace the ephemerality of feelings, understanding that each emotion, whether joyous or burdensome, is a transient visitor in the grand narrative of our lives. This perspective is empowering, offering a sense of liberation from the weight of enduring negativity. It’s a reminder that, although I can't control everything, I have the power to manage how I react to the challenges we face. By consciously choosing to respond rather than react, I can navigate through turbulent times with a clearer mind and a calmer heart.

Amidst the chaos and the ever-shifting landscape of academic advising, it's crucial to remember the positive impact of our work. I am fortunate to be part of a team comprised of dedicated colleagues who make a significant difference every day. Each advisor, with their unique approach and understanding, contributes immensely to the overall success and well-being of our students. Their unwavering commitment to guiding, mentoring, and supporting these young minds is a constant source of inspiration for me and a beacon of positivity in an often challenging environment. Seeing my colleagues' dedication reminds me of the true purpose of our roles – not just as academic guides but as pivotal influences in the lives of our students. This perspective is essential, particularly in those moments when we are overwhelmed by the demands of our roles or when we face bureaucratic hurdles. It helps us acknowledge that our emotions, especially the negative ones, are not permanent fixtures in our professional lives. They are instead transient phases, much like the seasons.

This understanding is vital in preventing burnout and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. It encourages us to take a step back, breathe, and view our work through a lens of gratitude and purpose. Our emotions do not define the entirety of our work or our worth. Rather, they are a part of a larger journey of personal and professional growth. In recognizing this, we not only enhance our own well-being but also set a positive example for those we advise, showing them the importance of resilience, perspective, and the pursuit of meaningful work.

This mindset is not only beneficial for us as advisors but also serves as a valuable lesson for our students. By demonstrating emotional resilience, we teach them an important life skill. In the dynamic and often unpredictable landscape of academic life, students frequently encounter situations that test their patience, determination, and emotional fortitude. When they observe us handling our challenges with grace and composure, it sets a powerful example for them to emulate.

They learn that while certain aspects of their academic journey are beyond their control – like curriculum changes, administrative decisions, or unforeseen personal obstacles – they can always choose how to respond to these challenges and setbacks. This lesson in emotional intelligence extends far beyond the classroom or advising office. It equips them with the tools to navigate not just their academic careers but also their personal and professional lives post-graduation. Moreover, this approach to emotional resilience teaches them the importance of self-awareness and mindfulness. It encourages them to reflect on their emotional responses, understand their origins, and consider healthier ways to address them. In essence, this lesson in emotional intelligence is perhaps as valuable as any academic advice we offer.

Looking ahead, it's important to keep our focus on the elements within our control. We need to continue advocating for more resources and better support for academic advisors. At the same time, we must take care of our own emotional well-being, acknowledging the natural ebb and flow of our feelings and ensuring they do not overwhelm us.